I work at a mental health center - have for twenty plus years - and much of my work days involve other folks' sorrows. It's honoring work - I'm honored when people trust me with their suffering and allow me to teach them how to turn suffering into mere pain. When I come home I have to teach myself - over and over -how to let go of their pain and return to my own life. Some days I can do this easier than other days. I think maybe that last post was a day when I could just not shake off the day, week, month just past. On those days I wonder what it's all about, whether I'm any "good" at all. It's as if their suffering is somehow my fault - and, truly, I do know better. I know intellectually that I am not responsible - it's the emotional knowing that is more elusive.
It's a fine Fall day here in the southern Rocky Mountains. Worthy of my comment for sure.
The scrub oak are jewels of ruby, rust, and burnt orange. It's that very glorious time of year where the autumn mingles with the season just past. The air is clear and dry, the sky is that incredible blue, and the day is just cool enough to wear long sleeves. No freeze yet, but soon. The wood is stacked on the porch, pumpkins are waiting to turn ghoulish, and herbs in pots still soak up the now, decidely southern, sunshine. Cornstalks by the front door celebrate and boast of our bountiful year. Golden aspen leaves that turn in one short day and glow on the black soil when they fall.
Small, simple pleasures for sure. And today I treasure them.
Hi Suzan, I am glad that you are feeling more yourself and less the product of the sorrows of your working month.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, I do think the last post was a wee bit bleak, you sure were being harsh on yourself, your life and your blogging.
Chop wood, carry water - all fine things in my opinion and exciting to hear about. Imagine if you live in a city and commute to work underground on public transport with thousands of people who avoid making eye contact, to work in an air-conditioned space - imagine how refreshing it must be to think about chopping wood and carrying water.
Back when I did those things I would have loved to read about the daily chores of a life in the mountains far from cars and suburbs and auto factories only I don't think that there were blogs back in the 90s :)
By the way I can't select an easy way to add my comments - name and url, let's hope that the google account one works....
Think about all those single women out there who(like me) admire and envy you and your man and all your years together! LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteDear Scribhneoir, thank you for the refocusing. You come right to the point of the matter. I did forget how it was for a time.
ReplyDeleteCousin, I love you, too.